Recently I posted on my Facebook wall that I would be updating my blog post on this website. These are the actual events that followed. They take place between 10:40 and 11:30 am eastern standard time.
10:40am- I post on my Facebook wall: New Blog post coming soon. I attach my websites URL. It’s sunny out. I smile.
10:40am- My cousin Tony writes on my Facebook wall: Proud of you Matt! Keep up the good work & make them laugh. I promise to come see you one day.
What a sweet comment.
10:42am- Alana Johnston writes: I’m ok thanks, I don’t need your blog post in my life.
10:45am- Sebastian VC (not a real name or thing) writes: Hyping an upcoming blog post? Get over yourself Fullofit (Play on my last name Folliott, other word play with my last name includes Fullofshit, Flowertits and Folderbits)
Not so sweet comments. This is where shit takes a turn for the worst. I’m currently eating Raisin Brain from the box.
11am- Alana, myself and Sebastian (fake name) start making fun of each other by means of impersonations. We post videos. Alana impression of me looks a lot like a young Joe Pesci in Goodfellas mixed with a little bit of Rain Man.
11:02am- Phone call from my Dad: he bought a new crock pot.
11:05am- Alana and Sebastian un-friend me. Sebastian actually leaves Facebook entirely and quickly resorts back to MySpace. I quickly resend a friend request to Alana. Sebastian is lost to us.
11:06am- Alana and Sebastian make death treats over the internet directed at myself and Marc Zuckerbeg. I arm myself with a kitchen knife and the right attitude.
11:10am- Police helicopters circle my house and inform me that Alana Johnston is posted somewhere on a roof top with a sniper rifle. She is hunting me. She smells my fear.
11:13am- Phone call from my Dad: he’s decided to make a pot roast. I congratulate him.
11:15am- Alana is arrested without incident, Sebastian re enters the Facebook world using his real name, Gordy.
11:30am- We all make up over Facebook. Alana is using the internet from jail. We make a date for a potluck dinner. My Dad is bringing pot roast.
This blog post is based on actual events.